


Amazing Grace

by lordofthepotatoes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Broken Sam Winchester, Castiel in the Bunker, Demon Dean, Demon Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Men of Letters Bunker, One Shot, Pain, Prompt Fic, Sad Castiel, Season/Series 10, Short One Shot, Singing, Song Lyrics, Tired Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2014-11-12
Packaged: 2018-02-25 01:33:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2603669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordofthepotatoes/pseuds/lordofthepotatoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is in the process of being cured. Cas is trying to cope with what he's hearing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Amazing Grace

**Author's Note:**

> Had this idea floating around and wanted to try and get myself back into writing a bit! I was inspired by Chase Holfelder's cover of the song Amazing Grace, so I'd definitely recommend listening to that :) Hope you enjoy!

Upon arriving in the bunker, Cas learned dreadfully quickly, that while Dean was being cured of a twisted version of himself, it was best to stay behind closed doors – listen to the silence instead of the screaming; the quiet over the painful hissing. 

Though, he was beginning to wonder if silence really was the better option. It was starting to feel too real, too heaving bearing - a silence that clung to the back of his neck like a dead weight.

Guilt swam amongst the fear and the angst that circled the silent room - Guilt that he was leaving Dean to suffer this alone; guilt that he’d let this happen and go on for so long. 

Occasionally he’d hear a roar from down the hall, followed by profanity and threats of slitting throats the moment he got out of that chair. He’d got out before, what’s to say he wouldn’t again. 

Cas watched the floor between his knees, hearing the words, but not really processing them. Feeling the sting of harshness between his shoulder blades at the sound of a once extremely over protective big brother, telling his little brother he was going to kill him – _’…And as for that feathered freak in there, I know he can hear me…I’m gonna strip your wings, Cas-!”_

So Cas began to sing – mute the roaring sound from the monster tied to a chair down the hall. 

He’d remember Dean.

“ _Amazing Grace, how sweet your sound…_ ”

Dean that prayed to him every night.

“ _That saved a wretch like me…_ ”

Dean that loved recklessly and cared too much.

“ _I once was lost, but now I’m found…_ ”

Dean with a million freckles and a boyish smile.

“ _Was blind now I can see._ ”

Dean that had to be saved.

Every time he sang it, he thought of something else. Something about Dean – the way he could fight and would fight for what he believed in, the way he’d put his hand on Cas’s shoulder with a half smile and suddenly things weren’t so dark - But at the end, it always came down to this – Dean that had to be saved. 

When Sam appeared at the door, holding the remaining needles in his hands, Cas stopped singing, looking at him with parted lips. 

“Cas, I-” Sam started weakly, but Cas stood, striding towards him. Sam looked uneasy – exhausted. His eyes were red and sore looking. There were scratches on his arms – Cas wondered when the last time he’d slept was. “It’s getting late and I-”

“I understand. You need to sleep. I’ll wake you before the last one.” He smiled, patting Sam’s arm in some attempt to show comfort. “You’ve done enough for now-” 

“…Maybe I should just sit in there, I could nap between injections-”

“No, you’ll need your strength.” Cas insisted. “Besides, it only riles him up if we’re both in there...We learned that the hard way.” 

Sam ran a tired hand through his hair, letting out a reluctant wince. It was easy to see he didn’t like the idea of leaving Cas alone with his brother, but he was so sleep deprived he didn’t know what else to do. “…You’ll wake me if there’s any improvement?”

“Yes.”

“…I don’t want to have to leave him, but, Cas, I’m so damn tired…We’re not getting anywhere-” Sam swallowed. Cas could hear the break in his voice, watching him carefully as Sam scrubbed his face. 

“This will work.” Cas said this for both of their benefits, and after that, he shooed Sam on his way to bed like this was some normal night and things were fine.

At the sound of Sam’s bedroom door shutting, the restless silence was back, gnawing around Cas’s ears, trying to break the barrier. Then came the relentless _“Sammy…Sammy?”_ ghosting through the halls, slithering under the door.

So Cas began to sing.

*

When the clock brought forth the next hour, Cas travelled the empty corridors to what was once known as the dungeon – in the midst of things he smiled. Dean used to call it that. And he would again soon. 

The injection, full of Sam purified blood, was clasped tight in his hand as he pushed open the door.

“Man, that time again already?” Dean sneered behind the bookcases. Cas stayed quiet until they drew back, revealing the man he’d seen just a few hours ago. The man that had chased Sam around the bunker with intent on killing him. The man that wore Dean’s bright face and green eyes - it was funny how these familiarities had now become strange to Cas.

“It would appear so.” Cas said, casting his eyes downwards as he went forward, not wanting to see the man in that chair anymore. The stranger.

Dean stayed perfectly still, watching with a smirk, until Cas crossed the devil’s trap markings - then he made a point of lurching forward and hissing, baring his teeth like a wild animal. 

Cas flinched, quickly composing himself, steadying the needle in his hand as he went for Dean’s already plucked red arm. He could still see the freckles hiding beneath. 

Dean laughed, sitting back in his chair again. “What? Not gonna sing yourself better?” 

“No.”

“Sing for me.”

“No.” Cas grimaced, sticking the needle in Dean’s arm, making him wince loudly. He turned his head when Dean sucked in a breath, biting his lip painfully as though not to let out another sound.

"C'mon, baby-" Dean seemed to struggle, swallowing thickly, twitching uncomfortably, before he let out a cry.

"Don't call me that." Cas snapped, trailing the needle out again when it's contents had left the tube. "...Just relax." he said softer, as though by some chance the real Dean could hear him.

“…I liked that song you were singing.” Dean rasped, chuckle escaping his lips as he loosened his grip on the arms of the chair. “Really liked it…So much I made up my own verse.” 

“I’ll be back in an hour.” Cas pretended not to hear as he set the empty shot down and turned.

"Want to hear it?" Dean persisted, eyes glassy - but any hint of a smirk was now clear off his face, his words spat through his teeth. "It sort of gets stuck in your head after the first three hours." 

"Well so does watching you behave this way-" Cas bit back.

"Oh yeah? What are you gonna do?" Dean cocked his head. "Sing me to death?"

"We're going to save you."

"We're? As in you and Sam?" Dean laughed, hooted and cackled for what seemed like forever. Cas stayed still. "Everything you do turns to shit, Castiel. This is just another one of those times." 

"It worked before."

Dean hummed, letting out another laugh before he took a breath, looking to the ceiling as if in thought before he began to sing. 

“ _Amazing Grace, how sour your sound, that damned a wreckage like me,_ ”

Cas stopped, his mouth parted. Maybe Sam was right - maybe the end wasn't in sight. He swallowed, fingers clenched into fists, shoulders tensing as foreign sounding words using Dean’s voice went on. 

“ _I once was lost, and still I’m not found…_ ”

Cas watched the smile rise on the monster's lips the moment his heart dropped. Cas was convinced Dean could hear it's dull thud, but he kept his chin up. 

“ _Had sight, now I can't see._ ”

The change, as though the flick of a switch, from two bright eyes to two black pits of despair, showed this Dean for what he really was - and he knew what he was doing. The two dark holes bore into Cas, breaking the surface of his skin and sent a chill right up his back. Dean laughed again, shoulders bouncing, chains rattling, as though he sensed it.

" _Oh, it's a pity...You'll never...Save me._ "

Not another word was exchanged. Cas turned and left the room to the sound of Dean whistling. 

He didn’t sing again.


End file.
